Females have emotions. Sometimes too many. Sometimes they have emotions they thought they shoved away and then...SURPRISE...your pregnant! (just kidding), you’re beating yourself up for having lingering feelings about a guy
you hardly know.
We’ve all been there. Thought we could act like a dude and just f***. Well, we can’t.
Though the argument remains that women are “programmed” to associate emotions with sex and in some cases form unwanted attachments, the real argument is that women are trained to spend their lives searching for companionship and sexual pleasure from men. Getting one without the other is not only rarely seen or discussed, its something saved exclusively for late night programs or racy films.
From the young Disney sitcoms to the classic love movies-females learn to want “love” and with it they get sex that they might enjoy but most importantly, they get sex that is the most INSPIRATIONAL sex they’ve ever had because they are in love! It shouldn’t be physically satisfying, it should be emotionally over-powering! What more could a girl ask for?!
Sex and sexual pleasure are never talked about as being needed, typical or acceptable from young women. A 14-year old boy is expected to masturbate multiple times a day and hopefully sleep with lots of ladies before the age of 18 so he can be considered a real man. A girl who masturbates daily and sleeps around by the same age is considered some type of freakish horny chick.
The way society views sex, sexual pleasure and relationships influences the way we are taught to view ourselves and our roles within it. Guys are triumphant if they can have sex with a lot of women and are expected to fulfill their sexual appetite alone if needed. Girls are expected to wait for love before having sex and to only give themselves up to “the one”. Fulfilling their own sexual cravings, though becoming a new “fad”, is still quite taboo today. And with all this, is the detrimental emotional effect sleeping around has on women’s esteem and quest for true love.
Women search and fulfill sexual cravings while not understanding the cravings in the same fashion men do. Then come the feelings of shame and guilt.
It’s a vicious cycle, because females have urges too. When we let loose and take on that one-night stand, its with a guy we may have spent a thought or two about whether or not he’d call us for future dates or just call us at all. He’s a guy we considered for more than just sex, though our goal may still remain the same.
And when he doesn’t reciprocate any of this, it hurts.
So what do we do with this viscous cycle of subconscious cravings and soul-mate searching mixed in with passionate sex?
We simply need to become aware. We need to know what emotions we really have regardless of how well a job we think we did hiding them. And when something we’ve been forced to perceive as intimate happens, like sex, those emotions will come rolling out. So get ready. Know yourself. Stop competing or acting like a dude. Act like you. Act on what you need. Maybe its that sexy guy you snagged for a few hours, or maybe its just some flirtatious conversation so you can go home and bone yourself! Just make the call on what feels right to you.